For the past week or two my stomach muscles have been twitching.

Or maybe they haven’t, and my worst fear of all time has come true – I have a parasitic worm in my gut and the twitches I feel are actually worm movements, as he/she/it changes positions to get more comfortable.

Seriously, how would I know if I had a tapeworm or something? Does anyone truly know the symptoms? I’ve been eating a lot more lately, but it was Thanksgiving, so it’s hard to say if my consumption is above normal. I’m pretty tired a lot too, but it is Fall/Winter* and I think that’s normal for me.

• I have no idea when seasons actually start or stop. I grew up in Southern California where we had four seasons – Fires, Floods, Earthquakes, or Lack of Fires, Floods and Earthquakes. All I know is that right now, outside, it’s pretty cold and nasty and stuff is frosty most mornings.