A few days ago I was mowing the lawn, and inhaled something up my nose. I proceeded to sneeze violently for a few minutes, and then every few hours after that. I figured it was a piece of grass or something.

I wish it was a piece of grass. The next morning I sneezed in the shower, and well, let’s just say I figured out what had flown up my nose the day before. Let your imagine run wild – it needs to. A common house fly had been in my head, surely alive for part of the time, for over 18 hours. The sneezing stopped after that.

Later that day I was skateboarding at the skatepark. A sparrow or similar type of small lightning fast bird took offense to me for a transgression I’ll never know and felt it appropriate to dart at my head a few times. It never did make contact, it was all for show. It stopped eventually, and I’d put it out of my mind until it crashed into my head while I was moving quickly. I swung back to where it had thudded into my helmet, and found it knocked cold, wings stretched out and feathers disheveled on the concrete. I picked it up, and set it on the bordering grass. I meant to check on it before I left, but I was already on my way home when I remembered.