Three months have gone by. Let’s see how I’m doing on those New Year’s Resolutions.

1. Cut my hair before it begins to put strain on my neck.

I’ve got this one in the bag. My haircut meter is pure rock and roll gold.

2. Give the milk a sniff before consumption.
Expiration dates widget to the rescue once again. I have gone rancid milk free for 90 days.

3. Finish what I start.
This all depends on how you look at it. I’ve started and finished things in the past 90 days, this and many blog entries as the most obvious evidence, but I’m still having a hard time with bigger items.

4. Resume my editorial illustration career.
Haven’t touched a paintbrush or even doodled a happy face in the last 90 days. This makes me pathetic. I used to work on an illustration or two almost daily.

5. Make serious progress on the big fancy secret project.
I can’t remember exactly what the big fancy secret project was for January, but if it’s what I’m thinking, then yes, I did this. And even if it’s not what I’m thinking, it’s still a yes, because I’ve made some serious progress on a lot of possible big fancy secret projects. Unless that big fancy secret project was the “Cultivate Scorpion Venom” project, which is a negatory.

6. Fall down less.
I fell down once in 90 days. That is far less falling then Q4 2002, so I nailed this one too. Mother nature helped by making it impossible to even be in a position where I could fall.

7. Become 100% debt free.
Nearly there. Credit card is paid off weekly (we use it as cash) and I have a single car payment. Other than that, no debt.

8. Teach Leah morse code instead of English as her first language.
Not going so well. She prefers speaking caveman. Grunts, squeals, drool enhanced hums, etc. I’ve given up on this.

9. Actually truly care more about friends and family.
In the past 90 days I found out that I cared more about friends and family more than I’d thought when I wrote this. It’s funny how singular events can help shift focus so quickly. 

10. Eat less Wheat Thins.
Done. I think I was on a kick.

11. Build a halfpipe.
No halfpipe yet. But believe me, it’s not because of a lack of desire.

12. Come up with a perfect system for managing wires.
I should have been hospitalized for even aspiring to do this. It’s utterly impossible.

13. Register my truck in Oregon.
No deal. But it is an inch away from being registered and legal in the state of California.

14. Realize my dream of training turkeys to play ping pong in the local county competitive table tennis circuit.
I’m taking the first step currently. I’ve been playing table tennis after work for a couple of weeks now so that I can in turn train turkeys. At first, I was worried about actually being able to do this, but seeing that I’ve actually made some progress is a confidence booster. Surely, if I can play, turkeys can too.

15. Ride a Segway.
Not so lucky yet.

16. Let stinkfactor.com die.
This was a joke, so it’s not going to happen. I’ve not added anything to the site simply because I’ve been busy.

17. Let stinkmachine.com flourish.
One of the celebrity superstars of this project had a major health related adventure, which prompted a pause in this world wide domination (yet, cuddly and friendly domination) campaign. It will pick back up again soon.

18. Armwrestle an astronaut, preferably Buzz Aldrin.
I haven’t even tried doing this yet. I’m too lazy to set up the event. Please email me if you’re an astronaut, and you think you can beat me in an armwrestling match. I’ll let you know that you will beat me unless you’re super old and frail, or have no arms and are forced to forfeit, but to be sporting and for entertainment, please assume you don’t have a chance.

19. Catch a cat hump (you gotta be pretty fast).
Impossible. Even National Geographic wild life photographers can’t pull this one off. I must have been crazy to think I could this.

20. Go a month without spending a dime, driving my car, or watching television.
I’m waiting for a good time to give this one a try. I see it being possible though, just need to fall down and go into a coma first.

How are you doing with your resolutions so far?