If you’re vegetarian, please don’t try to replicate meat. Please, no more tofu turkeys

, textured vegetable protein, or meat made from fungus. It’s all too wierd, like something out of a bad dream. Meat is meat, vegetables are vegetables. Making meat like substitutes is disgusting. Imagine making a carrot out of ground beef, or how about a tossed green bacon salad. Eat your vegetables as vegetables. Don’t pretend your jiggling-like-jello tofu turkey is anything other than tofu.

¹I’ve actually witnessed and tasted a real tofu turkey before. Despite my plea for “no more meat substitutes”, I’m no stranger to the vegetarian diet. And that picture of the tofu turkey looks simply horrid, like something that came out of a sick buffalo.

²I’ve been teasing Carrie lately, saying it would be cool to have pasta made infused with meat. Like spinach pasta, or these other fancy colorful pastas. Beef pasta would be fantastic.