I’ve gone over a week without skateboarding. I took a pretty big hit the night I decided to take a break. I can’t remember exactly what happened, I just remember that at one point I was sliding on my chin, my ribs, right shoulder, and my hip in a synchronized motion across pavement.

I always wear a helmet and it has served it’s purpose in the past, but this time it wasn’t helping at all. This is exactly what I was thinking mid face slide. “This helmet isn’t doing a darn thing to change my current situation.” Once my transition from one section of concrete to another was complete it was time to assess the damage.

The first thing one must do after falling from a skateboard is to immediately stand up. This will tell you a few things about your condition – things you may not be aware of. For example, if when standing up, you actually simply remain on the ground, something is wrong anywhere from the neck down. If you stand up, but immediately assume a prone position once again, this means something from the waste down is malfunctioning. If a full stand up is achieved, one must immediately check the arms and hands. Bend all fingers, perfom commonly used gestures, rotate arms, bend all joints.Waiting 5 minutes is also advised, as bleeding from abrasions can take some time to notice.

That night I stood up. Nothing wrong in the lower extremities, hip swell was confirmed, but that’s a common occurance. Rib abrasions are new, as are chin and shoulder abrasions. These would make for a new experience, and new reasons for my wife not to like skateboarding. I was expecting these wounds, having had time to think about it mid slide.

What I wasn’t expecting was a pickled pinky. When checking out the arms and hands, it became apparent that someone had replaced the pinky finger on my left hand with a pickle. I looked back on the recent event, and concurred that at no time did anyone have the opportunity to replace my pinky finger – it was unsolved mysteries time.

Apparently something bad happened to my pinky – it wasn’t replaced afterall, merely swollen to the size of a Vlasic Classic Dill Pickle. My educated guess is that in the process of overcoming friction between my body and concrete, my hand was contorted somehow in a way that was disagreeable to it’s sensibilities.

So now, a week later, the swelling is gone, but something is wrong with my finger, or I should say hand. I’ve ruled out broken bones in the part of my finger that extends off my hands, but the bones that go deeper into my mitt are of unknown status. I also think that the “guts” between my pinky finger and my ring finger are having some issues. I’m considering spending the $50.00 copay to get it checked out at the hospital, or wait for an appointment with my doctor for $10.00.

The point of the story – nothing. Just remember Pickled Pinky.