Michael Buffington

Mustache Still Growing

Wednesday, May 04 2005

Jeff made a list of why he is a wuss for shaving off his beard. I’ll make a list for why he is a wuss for shaving off his beard, and then I’ll show you some facial hair that will prove why he’s a wuss for shaving off his beard:

1. Growing a beard for team solidarity is prehistoric. When groups of hunter gatherers hunted bison, did you ever see one guy saying “man, the sweat, and the beard, I just can’t take it.” Nope. Those guys died off pretty quick because they’d be taken by surprise by a mad bull bison while they were staring into a placid lake while scraping hair off their face with obsidian. And if a mad bull bison didn’t do them in, their tribe mates would push them into the placid lake.

Actually, I’m done with my list. I thought I would fire off a bunch of bullet points about why giving up so quickly (ok, maybe a month isn’t that quick) is wrong, but that first one took my steam away. It all boils down to genetics and cave man tendencies somehow, somewhere.

And now, check out my contribution to facial hair. And I’m not shaving it off until we’re done.

Mustachio

And finally, I sort of wish I wasn’t as stubborn as I am, because that’s an ugly mustache and I’d love to shave it. I can’t blame Jeff for doing it, and really don’t think he’s that big a wuss.