Why, in the year 2005 where robots do everything from clean floors to mow lawns and give haircuts, can’t I get a robot to do my laundry?

I could make it easy on the robot. I’ll wear all darks, head to toe and use a single bin with a radio homing beacon on it. The robot could home in on that, grab the bin, then listen for the washing machine beacon, and go dump the clothes in. That’s easy stuff if everything is designed correctly.

Step things up a bit in sophistication and have the robot tell the washing machine what kind of cycles should happen based on the bin it’s carrying (whether it’s a “darks” bin or “lights” or “fancy underpants” bin).

It can’t be that hard, but I recognize I’d be going too far if I expected the robot to put the clothing on me. But if it could, I’d be tickled.

So instead of waiting around for it, I have a simpler idea. The whole point is to come as close to not lifting a finger to wash clothes right? So purchase a bay of washer/dryer units that wash and dry in the same bin. At least two, but I’m thinking four to ten would be ideal. Label one “darks”, the other “whites”, and just avoid all the middle men. Use the washers as both dirty clothes hampers and clothing storage.

Done with your clothes? Put them in the ASSRAD (automated super surfactant renewal array device). Need something fresh? Pull something out of your ASSRAD.