Consider this a how to guide on how to get utterly confused, yet delighted at the same time:

Stumble half asleep down the stairs of immeasurable steepness, where floppiness and arm flailing increases friction, slowing the descent.

Discover, for the third time, that the thimble sized washer/dryer hidden underneath the kitchen sink has once again failed to dry all the whites.

Search in vain for anything that might be hanging up to dry in the conservatory. Resolve to go commando.

Stop dead in tracks as six pairs of beady eyes jump to follow your movements. Hold very still while trying to comprehend what is actually happening. Are there no less than six guinea pigs watching your every move from the back garden?

The results of following these instructions are titillating.