According to Rob Cockerham’s new study, The Price of a Gallon

, scorpion venom goes for $38,858,507.46 per gallon. That’s a lot of dollars.

So, I’m going to master scorpion husbandry, and develop a system of massive venom harvesting. I’ll control the flow of venom, in a manner of speaking, like diamond vendors control the flow of diamonds to retain their value.

Collection of venom is simple. Create robots out of Legos that simply wander aimlessly through the scorpion enclosure in a manner that provokes the scorpion to attack. The robots are designed in a way that venom is collected from the attacks, and at the end of the day, deposited in a gallon jug. When that gallon jug is full, I retire.

Scorpions are rotated in and out of the provocation pen in order to maintain a level of stress similar to the level of stress the scorpion might experience in the wild.

I’m accepting venture capitol, pledge your amount today.