Michael Buffington

You Know You've Been Writing

Saturday, August 18 2001

You know you’ve been writing technical documents too long when you start writing phrases like “Red Icon – Clicking on this will kill an innocent Ethiopian.” I have absolutely no desire for anyone to kill an innocent Ethiopian, but it’s what my fingers wanted me to type. Other favorites are:


  • “Editing the registry is likely to result in your violent death”
  • “Scoping variables in the FORM scope is good if you have problems with your self esteem”
  • “Enabling this setting is especially useful if you have multiple personality disorder”</p> </ul>

    I thought for a second that it might be funny to write a spoof technical book, but it would only really be funny if it was 600 pages of pure funny stuff, published to look like a technical book, and to be snuck onto shelves next to technical books. Only technical book publishers would be able to truly pull this off, and I just don’t think they’d be up to it.

    “Reading this sentence will make the insides of your feet itch” – sometimes my wife claims that the insides, as in deep down, of her feet itch. That must suck!