Michael Buffington

The Ficus Is Gone. I

Thursday, October 05 2000

The ficus is gone. I walked outside yesterday morning and it was laying down in front of our door again. I considered tossing it off the 4th floor, but thought that my neighbors might not appreciate that at 7:30am. Instead, I took it downstairs to the dumpster.
When I was in the elevator going down, I had set the tree in one corner, and stood in the other corner. A guy came on the elevator on the second floor, and didn’t even mention a thing about the ficus tree. It might not have been mine, and he didn’t care. To him, a fake 6 foot+ ficus tree in the elevator wasn’t at all an odd occurance.
I should have left it in there, but I was afraid someone would try and return it to me. So I tossed it in a dumpster (so much for selling it on Ebay).
When I came home from work last night, I saw fake ficus tree leaves far from the spot I last saw the ficus tree. It’s on the move kids, and if it shows up in your neighborhood, get rid of it as soon as possible.